How I feel about fashion right now

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Here's something you may not know about me...

I used to want to be a fashion blogger! At least, in a 2008 sort of way. 
Back then I had just graduated high school and was obsessed with a Flickr community called wardrobe_remix where people shared their outfit photos. I found people through that community who had their own blogs (!!! a totally novel idea to me at the time) and started following as many as I could. I was SO intimidated by the idea of starting my own that I never did, and didn't even begin posting any photos to the wardrobe_remix group until 2009. Check out some of these sweet looks and poses - one featuring my freshman dorm room. 

2009 looks

Bloggers at that time were all about thrifting and vintage so in turn, I was all about thrifting and vintage. This was kind of the first time I'd ever really thought about or explored personal style in a serious way (we don't talk about my brief Japanese kogal style experiments in high school ok? It never happened. Shhh). From there I transitioned into college where I really felt free to try new styles all the time - I was a photography student so I could get away with being a little kooky. Some of my favorites during this time were a teal Mexican style dress, a green wool shift that looked like it was from Riverdance and a 70's wrap skirt that vanished into thin air after college (RIP). 
Late college style
After college I moved back to my hometown for a while and discovered the beauty community on YouTube, so makeup became my focus and my personal style got a little girlier and less vintage inspired. 

And then some sad things happened in my life and I just kind of let it all go. After I moved to Portland I still tried to dress cute, but I got lost completely and still am to this day. My body's changed in ways I'm not so happy with and I've been struggling for a long time with feeling like I can't "do fashion" anymore. Like my body isn't worthy of trying to be cute or stylish anymore. Which is a really sad way to feel! Strangely, I don't feel that way about any other woman I see rocking a stylish outfit, no matter what shape or size she is. I only think this way about myself. 

Lately I'm still feeling like I don't quite know how to get back into fashion - but I really really want to at some point. I used to have so much fun getting dressed up and now it just feels like a sad chore. So in this vein, I've been pushing myself to pose for outfit photos whenever I find a cool background, even though my confidence is low. And I've actually liked a few of them, so I think it's a good start! 

I don't know - how are you feeling about fashion lately? I'd be interested to know



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